I just love seeing those three words together! I have a sense that if we women can band together and come up with a consensus, on how we would ideally align our personal power in the area of money, we would make a positive shift in our romantic lives.
This is such a HUGE subject that I hardly know where to begin the exploration. I have done a lot of research into this subject with my clients and in the culture in general. Much has been written and many conclusions reached on how money and power are connected and the impact that has on the choices we make in the romantic realm.
The place that seems to be the most interesting to me today though is the place where most of us learned consciously or unconsciously a ton on how money and power work. The experiences we had in our childhood in this area, more than any other is emblazoned on our brains. Just like we have discovered when identifying our limited beliefs. In childhood we have our focus on Survival and so we take in our experiences through that lens.
To say the messages I received about money and power in my childhood were mixed would be putting it mildly. A little sampling from the money and power file from Kat's childhood goes a little like this.
My paternal grandfather lost his job during the depression, drank too much and never really recovered, dieing from a heart attack before I was born. My paternal grandmother went to work to support the family. She worked as a secretary for decades. From my youthful perch I witnessed her joy in her work and ability to support herself fairly well. She always dressed nicely, had a cute little car and a nice house. She also talked with resentment about the fact that she " had to work" and that she didn't have the leisurely lifestyle she felt she deserved.
My maternal grandfather was a farmer who provided very well for his wife and family.
My mothers mother my grandma Dolly never worked " outside the home". She was never really happy as far as I could tell though. She often spoke of how she felt cheated as a woman. Her father had sent her brothers to college and refused her request to do the same. She carried bitterness about this to her grave. She made sure that all four of her children had a college education with a special pride in her daughter’s accomplishments.
This played itself out in my parent’s marriage the way these things usually do.
My mother loved her work as a Home Economics teacher. During my childhood she taught high school while going to school for her Doctorate so she could one day be a college professor. She sometimes took me with her when it was childcare week. I witnessed the love her students had for her and how confident and happy she seemed. I also accompanied her when she lived on campus one summer and again saw her enjoying this aspect of her life. She achieved her goal when I was 10. I got to see her live into her dream first hand. I would often stop by her office and got to know many of her students after school. She only got to enjoy her dream for 2 short years. She was fired from her dream job ironically for having created a day care center run by her students that provided an inexpensive option for the local working mothers. The reason given for her dismissal was that she was influencing the young women who were her students to pursue their career dreams instead of becoming good homemakers.
Stay tuned for part 2. Their marriage, my marriage, your marriage
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