Put yourself in the Picture!
This month I am focusing on making dreams come true. It is a fairly basic requirement for having a happy life wouldn't you say?

I have promised to all those who will take the time to read this blog and follow the instructions I give, an effective dream making process. I am not relying only on my own expertise. I have a coaching circle filled with brilliant women who share their own experiences for all of us to learn from.

Last week in the Relationship Alchemy coaching circle there was a lot of conversation about what gets in the way of dreams coming true and what can we do about it.

One thing I have learned first hand is that in order for a dream to come true in the way that is really important I need to " Put myself in the picture"!

Many dreams I have had were missing this one element. I have had dreams that looked good on paper, sounded good to me, dreams that were applauded by others. Some of these dreams when they actually came true were exactly what I had asked for. Yet upon completion the experience I had was much different than the one I had hoped for.

The experience at times was flat. It might have been good stuff but I wasn't any happier than before. I have also experienced a dream coming true that actually left me UNHAPPY. Not my favorite thing.

The other much more common result of having dreams where I hadn't put myself into the picture was going through a ton of struggle and long drawn out defeat. If you have had this kind of experience making one of your dreams come true, it could be because you have not put yourself in the picture either.

What do I mean by putting myself in the picture?

Here is an example from the archives of the “Kat learns the hard way” library. A few years ago I had a dream of buying a home with my then new husband. My dream was to find a house that my husband would feel really good about owning. He had expressed to me that he had never owned a home where everything was in order. I wanted this house to be a great place for our 4 kids. My stepson was still living with us part time and I wanted him to feel he had his own place with us. He had often talked of wanting a swimming pool so that went on my wish list as well.

At about this same time my mother in law let us know she wanted to eventually come live near us.She hinted at her desire to have us buy a house with guest quarters that she would like.

There were other pieces to this dream that came from me such as wanting an Ocean view and to live near the Downtown area. I put all these pieces together and went house hunting. Sure enough I found a place that was perfect!

It fit all my criteria. Soon after that many things happened in a very short time that made this dream a reality. My dream had come true. I should have felt great but I didn’t. Actually I felt anxious. It was everything I had wanted and more. A truly wonderful home with all the trimmings but something was missing.

I hadn’t put myself into the picture! I had thought of everyone else and what they wanted. I had thought of things that I liked as well. But for a dream to come true and truly make us happy we need to picture what it will actually be like to live it! We need to think about the Experience We want to have not just the outside trappings. In this case I had thought more about the other people than myself. Always a dream buster.

After my realization I went to work to remedy the situation by letting go of my old dream. A dream that had not been well considered. I began a new dream. This one was to take ownership of my home. To fully make it mine. I thought of the experiences that make me happy like sharing my home with others, having unusual creative spaces. It didn't take long for my new dream to take hold and unfold in ways that were truly magical.

When it comes to making romantic dreams come true this is even more important. It is much easier to sell a house or leave a job than to be heart broken and feeling hopeless.

This week I want you to spend some time imagining your dream in a new way. Instead of thinking about the Man of your dreams or the House or the Job or the trip, instead think about YOU and what kind of experiences really make you happy.
What tickles your fancy? What makes your heart sing? What experience do you just know will be good for you? Bring you joy?

Keep your focus on these things and this week put yourself into the picture of your dreams!

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