Relationship Alchemy Blog

This year on my birthday when I took inventory and looked at the experience I wanted to have I decided to spend my birthday weekend playing around with my new manifesting game. My husband Curtis and I have been working on this for many years and we are closing in on completing it. It seemed like the perfect time to try it out by using this year’s birthday celebration dream to see just how I could create it exactly as I wanted it to be. A little dream to be sure but a fun one to experiment with.

The big aha on this creation process came when I realized I kept trying to plan my celebration starting with what I didn’t have! I kept thinking of things I wanted to have that I didn’t have in my every day life, or things I didn’t have living here in Ventura, things I couldn’t do because of time or money or lack of something or other. As I continued this search I also found I was focused on things I no longer was even interested in. Activities I used to enjoy and even people who I no longer am close to. Yikes! It was a great big bunch of don’t haves.

When we focus on what we don’t have and expect to create a dream from it we will always end up disappointed in some way. Not only that the process will be heavy and filled with doubt and fear. This is one aspect of “ Outside In Dreaming. When the focus starts with something we don’t have whether it is a job, house, partner or opportunity. This gets us off on the wrong dream making foot.

The question then is. What do we do instead? Wanting to have something new in our lives, to create a new dream, have new experiences is wonderful! It is the “ place” we start and where we keep our focus that makes all the difference.

After much fooling around with ideas I came up with what I am calling “The Inside out Dreaming” process. The first element of this process is to start with what you already have! Here is an example. The inside out dreaming of what I had went something like this: I have 3 days off of work, I have a really good book I want to read, I have my guest cottage free, I have people who call me on my birthday, I have a lot going on in my life right now, I have a love of fire and music and wine.

I went on like that for a while. It is amazing how much we actually “ have” when we take the time to look at it. After I had listed all I had a plan just started to formulate in the yummiest way. From what I had the dream revealed itself to me magically. I also noticed that as nice as this dream was beginning to look I was not attached to any part of it. My heart and my mind were open to possibilities of how it would look or how it would happen. I also noticed that I took inspired action right away and that the Universe began participating by sending me delightful surprises. All of this I would have missed had I not let go of my old dream and shifted my focus from what I didn’t have to what I had!

This week I encourage you to take a look at an area in your life where you want to have a new experience. It can be related to your new dream or some other area that seems like a good one to experiment with. Once you have identified the area take a look for any old dream associated with it that you might need to let go of. Then put your focus on what you already have in this area. It can be ideas, knowledge, something physical, other people’s support, money, and time, a good feeling. Just so long as you can say and Feel that it is something you HAVE. You might want to make a writing project of this part. It is really fun to see all that we have in black and white. Then notice what comes next!

We will be talking about the “ Inside Out Dreaming process on our calls this week. I am also hoping to do a short visualization with you so if possible call in from a place you can close your eyes for a few minutes.

Happy Dreaming!

Kat

How you gonna make a dream come true?

Today is June 1 and I am making my first blog entry! I love the month of June for many reasons. It could be because it is the month of my birthday or the time of year when school is out and summer begins.
I have also been typed as a “summer personality” for what that’s worth. Summer people tend to be romantic and are slow and steady in nature.

So I am beginning the Relationship Alchemy Blog today with an exploration of Dreams, which is my theme for June. The Relationship Alchemy Blog is an offshoot of a coaching circle where I work with extraordinary women who want to have it all. A good romantic experience, wonderful work and lots of fun. Every month we have a theme that is our focus as they work towards their…dreams.

So what are dreams and what makes them come true? When it comes to romantic dreams that is certainly the twenty thousand dollar question wouldn’t you say. If I can tell you exactly how to make your dreams come true it just might be worth your while to read on for a few minutes or to follow along this month.

I can and will tell you over the course of this month and that is a promise. You may not like what I have to say however so this is a warning. If you would rather be ignorant of the real dream making process stop here.

If you are ready to take responsibility for making your dreams come true than I believe we are going to get along just fine as this is my area of expertise. I have done it for myself all my life and over the past ten years I have helped countless people achieve their own dreams romantic and otherwise.

For some reason I have a jumble of show tunes in my head this morning. “June is bustin out all Over” from Carousel which makes sense and then there is the refrain“ you gotta have a dream… if you don’t have a dream ….how you gonna make a dream come true” from South Pacific that just won’t leave me alone.

I guess that is as good as any place to begin the dream making process. You do “gotta have a dream” and the place many people go wrong is picking dreams that really aren’t going to make them happy.

They either achieve this dream or then are disappointed so they stop going after dreams or they don’t achieve the dream and they are disappointed and they stop going after dreams.

Step number one: Heads Up..This may take much longer than you would like it to! You first need to spend some time looking at the many possibilities that are appealing to make sure this is a dream that comes from your heart. Sounds like a cliché I know. It is essential though, if you really want to make your dream come true. How can you tell if it is a heart or head dream you may be asking. That leads me to the next step.

Step number two: Pay attention to how it feels. When you think about it. When you imagine it happening. What is the feeling you have? Head dreams usually feel hard or sometimes they feel good in an empty or ego driven way. Good but not delightful, yummy or peaceful. Heart dreams feel that way. Good in a quiet but inspiring kind of way.

Step number three: You need to be unattached to the outcome. To really be able to put in the effort needed to make a dream come true you can’t be attached to how it is going to look. Or, how long it is going to take to come to fruition. Heart Dreams come from an essence place where the details just don’t matter. If we force things to conform to our time frame or our idea of how they are supposed to be they never turn out well. Focus instead on the experience you want to have. There is a mystery to the dream making process and it requires us to be unattached to what we think the outcome should be.

Those are the first three steps to the Relationship Alchemy dream making process. Pick a dream Idea and check out the heart head component. Spend some time thinking about it and checking out how it feels. Keep your focus on the experience instead of the outcome.

If you have read this far I have faith you will be able to make the best possible dreams come true for yourself!

Kat Knecht

Put yourself in the Picture!
This month I am focusing on making dreams come true. It is a fairly basic requirement for having a happy life wouldn't you say?

I have promised to all those who will take the time to read this blog and follow the instructions I give, an effective dream making process. I am not relying only on my own expertise. I have a coaching circle filled with brilliant women who share their own experiences for all of us to learn from.

Last week in the Relationship Alchemy coaching circle there was a lot of conversation about what gets in the way of dreams coming true and what can we do about it.

One thing I have learned first hand is that in order for a dream to come true in the way that is really important I need to " Put myself in the picture"!

Many dreams I have had were missing this one element. I have had dreams that looked good on paper, sounded good to me, dreams that were applauded by others. Some of these dreams when they actually came true were exactly what I had asked for. Yet upon completion the experience I had was much different than the one I had hoped for.

The experience at times was flat. It might have been good stuff but I wasn't any happier than before. I have also experienced a dream coming true that actually left me UNHAPPY. Not my favorite thing.

The other much more common result of having dreams where I hadn't put myself into the picture was going through a ton of struggle and long drawn out defeat. If you have had this kind of experience making one of your dreams come true, it could be because you have not put yourself in the picture either.

What do I mean by putting myself in the picture?

Here is an example from the archives of the “Kat learns the hard way” library. A few years ago I had a dream of buying a home with my then new husband. My dream was to find a house that my husband would feel really good about owning. He had expressed to me that he had never owned a home where everything was in order. I wanted this house to be a great place for our 4 kids. My stepson was still living with us part time and I wanted him to feel he had his own place with us. He had often talked of wanting a swimming pool so that went on my wish list as well.

At about this same time my mother in law let us know she wanted to eventually come live near us.She hinted at her desire to have us buy a house with guest quarters that she would like.

There were other pieces to this dream that came from me such as wanting an Ocean view and to live near the Downtown area. I put all these pieces together and went house hunting. Sure enough I found a place that was perfect!

It fit all my criteria. Soon after that many things happened in a very short time that made this dream a reality. My dream had come true. I should have felt great but I didn’t. Actually I felt anxious. It was everything I had wanted and more. A truly wonderful home with all the trimmings but something was missing.

I hadn’t put myself into the picture! I had thought of everyone else and what they wanted. I had thought of things that I liked as well. But for a dream to come true and truly make us happy we need to picture what it will actually be like to live it! We need to think about the Experience We want to have not just the outside trappings. In this case I had thought more about the other people than myself. Always a dream buster.

After my realization I went to work to remedy the situation by letting go of my old dream. A dream that had not been well considered. I began a new dream. This one was to take ownership of my home. To fully make it mine. I thought of the experiences that make me happy like sharing my home with others, having unusual creative spaces. It didn't take long for my new dream to take hold and unfold in ways that were truly magical.

When it comes to making romantic dreams come true this is even more important. It is much easier to sell a house or leave a job than to be heart broken and feeling hopeless.

This week I want you to spend some time imagining your dream in a new way. Instead of thinking about the Man of your dreams or the House or the Job or the trip, instead think about YOU and what kind of experiences really make you happy.
What tickles your fancy? What makes your heart sing? What experience do you just know will be good for you? Bring you joy?

Keep your focus on these things and this week put yourself into the picture of your dreams!

I

How you gonna make a dream come true?

Today is June 1 and I am making my first blog entry! I love the month of June for many reasons. It could be because it is the month of my birthday or the time of year when school is out and summer begins.
I have also been typed as a “summer personality” for what that’s worth. Summer people tend to be romantic and are slow and steady in nature.

So I am beginning the Relationship Alchemy Blog today with an exploration of Dreams, which is my theme for June. The Relationship Alchemy Blog is an offshoot of a coaching circle where I work with extraordinary women who want to have it all. A good romantic experience, wonderful work and lots of fun. Every month we have a theme that is our focus as they work towards their…dreams.

So what are dreams and what makes them come true? When it comes to romantic dreams that is certainly the twenty thousand dollar question wouldn’t you say. If I can tell you exactly how to make your dreams come true it just might be worth your while to read on for a few minutes or to follow along this month.

I can and will tell you over the course of this month and that is a promise. You may not like what I have to say however so this is a warning. If you would rather be ignorant of the real dream making process stop here.

If you are ready to take responsibility for making your dreams come true than I believe we are going to get along just fine as this is my area of expertise. I have done it for myself all my life and over the past ten years I have helped countless people achieve their own dreams romantic and otherwise.

For some reason I have a jumble of show tunes in my head this morning. “June is bustin out all Over” from Carousel which makes sense and then there is the refrain“ you gotta have a dream… if you don’t have a dream ….how you gonna make a dream come true” from South Pacific that just won’t leave me alone.

I guess that is as good as any place to begin the dream making process. You do “gotta have a dream” and the place many people go wrong is picking dreams that really aren’t going to make them happy.

They either achieve this dream or then are disappointed so they stop going after dreams or they don’t achieve the dream and they are disappointed and they stop going after dreams.

Step number one: Heads Up..This may take much longer than you would like it to! You first need to spend some time looking at the many possibilities that are appealing to make sure this is a dream that comes from your heart. Sounds like a cliché I know. It is essential though, if you really want to make your dream come true. How can you tell if it is a heart or head dream you may be asking. That leads me to the next step.

Step number two: Pay attention to how it feels. When you think about it. When you imagine it happening. What is the feeling you have? Head dreams usually feel hard or sometimes they feel good in an empty or ego driven way. Good but not delightful, yummy or peaceful. Heart dreams feel that way. Good in a quiet but inspiring kind of way.

Step number three: You need to be unattached to the outcome. To really be able to put in the effort needed to make a dream come true you can’t be attached to how it is going to look. Or, how long it is going to take to come to fruition. Heart Dreams come from an essence place where the details just don’t matter. If we force things to conform to our time frame or our idea of how they are supposed to be they never turn out well. Focus instead on the experience you want to have. There is a mystery to the dream making process and it requires us to be unattached to what we think the outcome should be.

Those are the first three steps to the Relationship Alchemy dream making process. Pick a dream Idea and check out the heart head component. Spend some time thinking about it and checking out how it feels. Keep your focus on the experience instead of the outcome.

If you have read this far I have faith you will be able to make the best possible dreams come true for yourself!

Kat Knecht